Healing from Divorce #1
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Foot note all this happened 12 years ago :0)
Divorce
Nobody likes divorce; it is an ugly word in and off its self. The very meaning itself is all about dividing, tearing apart, splitting and so on.
Why do you think many couples, people who divorce for whatever reason end up married to the same type of person, but in a different body?
Take for example a person who is abused in a marriage, mentally, physically. They leave as any sane person would and within a very short time remarry into a similar situation, different person but same issue`s, sometimes even worse than before.
Try to imagine a bungee cord attached to your Dad, mom or for that matter, anyone you have not forgiven. Now the further you try to get away from that person be they dead , living in another state ,country ,as soon as you get into a new relationship of any kind that brings your true emotions to the surface, back will come those unhealed hurts of the past on that bungee cord to slap you repeatedly.
Honestly try as you might you can never, ever truly get away from an unhealthy past until you face it right on and begin to deal with it. I am not saying go back to that abusive person to confront them as that can be quite disastrous.
No the healing begins in the mind were all those memories of UN-forgiveness are stored. One thing I want to say right now is you will never ever, ever forget, it is impossible but as you learn to forgive that person and heal the memories will no longer affect you as they did before.
Forgiveness is the key to true release, until you do; you will never be free to be who you were really meant to be. To live a life that is full and rewarding. To love yourself and those around with true passion in everything you do.
I was married the first time for 12 years, now I`m not going to rant and rave about how bad it was etc. truth be told we both found each other. We both had a lot of unhealed Junk in our lives and had no idea who we really were and then to top all that we made a lifetime comment to each other. How crazy is that. I came from a mentally abusive father who was alcoholic.
As the years went on I slowly began to realize that she was similar to my dad, in fact in all reality I had married my dad. (I’m not trying to slam my EX here, just prove a point) I found myself trying to please her to earn her love like I did my dad`s. then one day I woke up and realized that I would never have her love ,that the situation would never change. However, I still did not leave after all we had two boys.
Now I was a Christian and did not believe in divorce so as far as I was concerned I was not leaving. So I decided to go and get some counseling at a local Church that specialized in this sort of thing. Well long story short The Guy turned out to be a former alcoholic and tried to convince me that I was an alcoholic just like my Dad. I wanted to believe it to say I was , to but it just didn't fit, it was like I would be lying to myself. I wanted the truth so that I could be truly free in my heart and mind…OK to be continued in the next hub
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Hi Made :0)
Yes, it sure hurts...$200000000000 thats a good figure...any way you look at it ,its hard...they say death is easier as its more final..
Thanks for reading have a great week!!
Mike :0)
Hi Mary from Tilson :0)
Yes, it was quite a journey..but well worth it Cynthia was waiting at the end and a lot of intresting experiances between...thanks for you great comment Mary!!!!
Mike :0)
My parents got divorced after 15 years of marriage. Sometimes divorce is for the best, especially if you have children. I wish my parents had gotten a divorce earlier than they did because kids should not grow up in a toxic environment. Parents should be loving and kid towards each other to set an example of how marriage is really supposed to be.
Like you said though forgiveness is the key to letting go.This is a good hub though thanks for writing it.
I recently watched a tv program about happiness. According to research, a divorce feels like losing two million dollars. I'm not sure these two in fact are comparable, but it gives you a hint of how bad it feels. I'm glad you are sharing your story and I'm looking forward to reading more. Voted up!
Your use of a bungee cord to explain how we bounce back to our past was ingenious. How hard it is to find you're married to the wrong person, especially when your religion keeps you from leaving. Fortunately I have never been in that position, I was lucky from day one. I can't wait to read part two to see what you did. (I know Cynthia's glad you did it whatever it was.) Voted up for your honesty and openness on such a personal subject. Of course interesting too.
Deborrah :0)
I guess I should have said all this happened 12 years ago..funny i Guess it sounds like i,m going through it now LOL...No god has healed me....I,m now married to a wonderful women Cynthia...thanks for commenting!!!!
I felt led to write this for people who are going through it now ..Later In Jesus
Mike :0)
Mike, Divorce as you say "are about dividing, tearing apart and splitting" it hurts both parties... I am glad that you are contronting possible issues and taking time to heal. Thank you for sharing, Peace & Blessings!
mikeq107 Hub Author 4 months ago
TheHug5 :0)
Yes I wish my parents had done it or more to the point My Mom sholud have left my Dad so that he would have sobered up and got with the program ..thus saving us kids a lot of grief and counciling time :)
Thanks for reading ,have a great week !!!
Mike :0)